Tentacle Monster
Tentacle Monsters are sometimes Aliens from outer space, monsters from the XXX-Dimension or denizens of Japan (they are actually third class citizens, they wish they could be second class citizens like The Koreans). But they are mostly (in)famous as the voracious rapist monsters from the Japanese Hentai pr0n, in which they deflower young nubile and innocent High School girls for their own perverse pleasure! But this is a Racist misconception! A xenophobic lie created by the Japanese, the bears, and their hippie bear-loving liberal friends! The Truth About Tentacle Monsters Just like Frankenstein and "Gill-man", these poor creatures are despised and misunderstood. Like other Ethnic groups diverse groups, Tentacle Monsters are being persecuted and vilified by old stereotypes like ~"Tentacle Monsters are lazy, they are too hyper-sexual, and that they are child molesters who are too dumb for society"~. For centuries Tentacle Monsters have suffered under the gaze of discrimination, they cowered under the tight fist of oppression, and they were forced run from the angry mob of persecution. Tentacle Monsters were forced tolerate the intolerable prejudices from Humans for centuries (if there is one thing that the human race can agree on, be it black, white, or asian, is that Tentacle Monsters are disgusting. Now thats being a uniter!). The truth is that Tentacle Monsters are creatures just like us. They just want to make a living and to be recognized in a dignified manner. But the world was not ready for Tentacle Monsters and the Tentacle Monsters decided that they needed to exterminate the human race in retribution they needed to find a new homeland for their kind. The History of Tentacle Monsters The first description of Tentacle Monsters was recorded in some ancient stone tablet in the Middle-east. The tablet describes an ancient tale of a creature of terror and horror beyond darkness, "a thing that cannot be described, but it is called the green, sticky spawn of the stars with flabby claws and an awful squid-head with writhing feelers". The tablet was revered by some weird cult and according with scholars, in the ancient world Tentacle Monsters were revered as gods by ignorant pagan humans of the period. But all of that changed with the introuduction of "Monotheism" The One and True God. The first humans to discriminate against the tentacles were the racist joos who one day will kill our Lord and Savior. The joos persecuted the Tentacle Monsters and chase them out of the Holyland. The Tentacle Monsters were forced to abandon their ancient home in the Middle-east forever. The tentacles decided that they needed to migrate to Europe and try their luck there; paganism was strong there and they hated the joos very much. Once the Tentacle Monsters arrived to Rome, many of them wanted to join the Roman Empire and they swore their alliance to the Roman Emperor, Stephanus Maximus Truthiness, and their new human masters in exchange for "virgin blood" "virgin juice"... but when Christianity was introduced in Europe and The Roman Empire, the Tentacle Monsters were once again oppressed and persecuted, but this time they were discriminated by The New Church of Jesus. Some even say that Jesus himself liked to hunt down Tentacle Monsters during his free time! The Tentacle Monsters, tired of being persecuted by the Catholic Church and their human oppressors, decided that they needed to find a new place to live where there were no Christians around or God... (according with the Bible, Tentacles are "Satan's love limbs"). They decided that they needed to move to Asia as soon as possible, at the time Asia didnt have Christians, only Buddhist Heathens. The Tentacle Monsters choose the mythical land of Japan for they heard that the Japanese "love" tentacles (in a manner of speaking) for some strange reason, but the Tentacle Monsters would soon find a rude awakening in the land of the rising sun once they arrived... Tentacle Monsters and Old School Erotica Japan never had Tentacle Monsters before their arrival, so there is a mystery as to why the Japanese love these creatures even before they reached their shores. According with our wiki-scholars there are some old textbooks in Tokyo's library that may shed some light into this mystery. In the year of 1814, at the shores of Japan, an erotic painting "Dream of the fishermans wife" emerged depicting a Tentacle Monsters having non-consensual intercourse with a lady. It is believed to be the oldest depiction of "Tentacle Raep" and the genre's origin! All scholars agree that this is the origin of the racist view that all Tentacle Monsters are sexual predators and it was forever imprinted in the Japanese collective mind. The artist, Katsushika Hokusai, said that he was inspired by stories that he heard from foreign merchants who talked about strange weird creatures from foreign lands in the West. The artist at first wanted to paint an erotic painting involving a "pizza-man" and some "lonely wife" but he found the idea stupid. So instead he chose the scene of a Tentacle Monsters ravishing some fisherman's wife, it was some sort of attempt at irony or something. None of the observers got the joke but they all agreed, the painting was hawt and they wanted more of it. But luckily since Japan was a backward country at the time, the idea of "Tentacle Erotica" died away and it was almost forgotten, that could had been the end of it... until the 20th century. Tentacle Monsters and Hentai After Janpan was uberly defeated by The Great Evil American Empire The USA, there was a great demand for foreign workers to replace those turned to ashes by the Atomic Bomb. Many Tentacle Monsters immigrated to Japan seeking jobs. At first they were surprised that they were readily welcomed by the Japanese folks, but soon they realized with horror that the Japanese thought Tentacle Monsters were giant Calamari and would eat them! The Tentacle Monsters would try to change their perception by telling the Japanese that they were not food and that they should not be eaten. The Japanese were ok with this since they instead decided that they wanted to eat Sushi and maybe some whale meat. At first relations between humans and Tentacle Monsters were cool in Japan. But all of that changed in 1987 when the first Hentai movie depicting a Tentacle Monster was released in all movie theaters in Japan. The Image of Tentacle monsters as good people was tarnished and it was replaced with the image of a sex crazed monster looking to raep High School girls in a giant orgy-fest... The genre was wildly popular among the Japanese, but at the same time many young Japanese girls were afraid of the Tentacle Monsters. The image was too damaging that the Tentacle Community never recovered from it and to this day the stereotype still lingers in the public mind. Worst, when Hentai was introduced in America during the 90's what the audience first saw was Tentacle Monsters raping young girls. This forced many Tentacle Monsters to immigrate to Japan, it was the only Nation at the time that would accept Tentacle Monsters in their sovereign soil and it was the only place in the world that they could at least get a decent job... unfortunately the only available jobs for Tentacle Monsters in Japan was as pr0n actors... (considering their tarnished image as sexual deviants, they got paid really well by the "Adult Industry"). Purple Tentacle: The First non-hentai Tentacle Monster runs for Office Around the 1990's, when Tentacle Monster discrimination was at the highest, a lone Tentacle Monster decided that he had enough with persecution. His name was Purple Tentacle, a tentacle monster known for being a mad genius with delusions of grandeur and World Domination, but mostly he was known for abhorring raep!! Purple may had been a lunatic deluded homicidal Tentacle Monster, but he was not that kind of monster!! Purple had a reputation for maintaining oppressive law & order and he wanted to change human perception about Tentacles for the benefit of future generation of tentacles dreaming of World Domination. Purple at first tried to change the horrible image of Tentacles as "sexual deviants" by constructing a Weather Machine to freeze the planet and enslave the human race (in a non-sexual manner) to teach them a lesson... but he failed. Instead of freezing the planet, Purple caused "Global Warming" and the humans accused him of making the plant so hot that women and high school girls would be forced to strip down naked just to cool off (it was at this time that bikinis became more popular than ever). After many failed attempts at World Conquest, Purple discovered that he was doing it all wrong. He realized that if he wanted to be accepted by the human race that he would have to join their organizational group. Purple found a human group that accepted members from the fringe of society and insane lunatics with radical beliefs that contradicts rational thinking. Purple joined the human group to to gain their acceptance and political power... so he joined the GOP and became a republican! At first the GOP was suspicious of Purple and at first they did not want to be associated with a sexual deviant. But Purple Tentacle was not only a mad genius but he was also a powerful business tycoon and he used his money to buy as much influence as he could. Some members of the religious right were afraid that as a monster he was a Satanist or worst a hippie pagan, not so, Purple was a true Christian. Purple specially like the idea of bringing Armageddon to the Human Race, the crucifixion of all humans, and the extermination of the dirty joos, which is why he joined the KKK doing the Lord's good work for the benefit of mankind. Soon Purple gained the support of the Evangelical groups as well as the Chamber of Commerce. In 2000 he tried to run for the presidency but at the time the American public was not ready to accept the idea of a Tentacle Monster in the White House, let alone as their president. It was at this time that rumors started to surface that Purple liked to raep young High School girls at night (it is suspected that this rumor started to circulate at the same moment of the McCain's black baby rumors) Purple suffered from a humiliating defeat in the primaries, but he also gained something else. Many Republicans learned to like this Tentacle Monster. Purple was popular with certain sectors of Real America, he was known for his anti-semitism anti-human views like immigration, he was Ultra Rich (thanks to his job as a supervillain by robing banks) so he gained the favor of pro-business lobbyist and pro-capitalist supporters, and he was a Christian! Many Republicans saw Purple as the future of the GOP and they invited him to join their ranks. In 2003 Purple then ran for the Senate Seat and he won!! It is said that thanks to Purple now Tentacle Monstes make up 10% of the Republican Party and it is still growing! (aka Cthulhu) is the bastard child of a Tentacle Monster and a Human]] Present Relations between Tentacle Monsters and Humans While Tentacle discrimination and prejudice persist today, there has been an increasing acceptance of Tentacles within human communities, specially within the Republican Party and many Christian organizations hoping to gain World Domination with their help. There have even been many inter-species marriages between Tentacles and Humans. While such unions had been illegal and immoral in the past, today such unions are being accepted and protected as their right. Marriage is such a sacred institution for Tentacle Monsters that they are willing to protect the sanctity of marriage by helping in the fight against the abominable Gay Marriage. Tentacle Monsters find Gay Marriage to be disgusting and a threat to their Heterosexual Marriages that they have gone so far as to persecute Tentacle Monsters known for being gay! External Tubes * In defense of Tentacle Monsters and their Octopi cousins